"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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