I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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