there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
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I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
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I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night