its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?