first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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