This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I still have a little drunk in my system
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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