I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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