my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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