He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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