her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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