so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
