its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
