..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
