I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i walk over a car last night?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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