Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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