Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Redeem this text for a blowjob
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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