Soap is not a condiment
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
