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my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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