Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
