time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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