I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
