Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
How's work?
Spinning.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
