How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
