Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I need moral support for this bender
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize