I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him