You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
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He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
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So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.