Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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