question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
