You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
