so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
