Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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