We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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