butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My balls are so social today.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
