I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
