i barfeds in our rink
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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