Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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