break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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