He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
