In the future we'll all be gay
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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