Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
