Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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