Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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