there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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