I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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