just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
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I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
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i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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