Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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