I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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