My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Panties = found
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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