everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
it glows. i had to have it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
