We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
