Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
