Swine flu. Run for my life!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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