at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
