okay pat passed out under dana's car
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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