I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
