Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
